This quiz will show how retarded you are, supposedly. In other words, we can all expect me to clearly pass it.
[x] I have walked into a glass/screen door.
[ ] I have tripped on my shoelace and fallen on my face.
[X] I have choked on my own spit.
[ ] I've seen the Matrix a bunch of times and still don't get it.
[ ] I type only with my pointer fingers.
[X] I have accidentally caught something on fire.
[ ] I've told a cop to piss off and gotten screwed for it.
[x] I attempted to sip out of a straw but it accidentlay went into my nose, rather than my mouth.
[X] Sometimes when I think of something funny, I laugh out loud and people look at me weird.
[x] I've caught myself drooling.
[ ] I've accidentally caused an explosion.
[ ] If someone says the word "fart", I can't help but laugh.
[ ] I've turned into a "do not enter" one way road plenty of times.
[X] Sometimes I just stop thinking & zone out...
[ ] It is POSSIBLE to lick your elbow.
[X] I just tried to lick my elbow. (I knew it wasn't possible, but I've still gotta check every once in a while.)
[X] People often shake their heads and walk away from me. (It's not THAT often)
[ ] People often tell me to use my "inside voice".
[X] Gum has fallen out of my mouth while talking
[x] I've used my fingers to do simple math. (After all these complicated formulas, I've gotta stop and think about how to add.)
[X] I've jumped off a moving vehicle.
[X] I ate a bug for $5 or less. (Free!)
[x] I'm taking this test when I should be doing something more important. (Homework, of course.)
[ ] I repost chain letters because I'm scared of what they threaten will happen if I don't. (I've started really ridiculous letters before, so ridiculous that nobody could even possibly believe them... then they were reposted...)
[ ] I've done something really stupid while I was drunk. (I don't need to be drunk to do something stupid!)
[ ] I've run around naked when I was drunk. (As I said, I don't need to be drunk!)
[ ] I've run into a golf cart tire when I was drunk. (Ok, that I haven't done)
[x] I've searched all over the place for something, and then realized it was in my hand the whole time.
[x] I accidentally break a lot of things...
[X] My friends know not to use big words around me. (I'm actually quite a fan of big words, but when I'm tired, my brain doesn't quite register teh big spiffy words.)
[x] My friends like me because I'm fun to laugh at.
[x] I move my head to the side when I'm confused
[x] Sometimes I start telling a story and suddenly forget what I'm talking about. (Usually I don't know what I'm talking about from the beginning!)
[x] I've fallen out of my chair before.
[X] When I'm laying in bed, I sometimes stare at the ceiling and try to find pictures and words in the texture. (My ceiling here is boring, so I can't do that anymore.)
Total score [23]
Once you get your answer multiply by three
69%!
Yay! I passed! Oh, wait... crap...
I totally stole this from

(Duh, I R dumb. I figured out how to do icons...)